Tribe. You hear this word often now. It’s a term mainly used by women to describe their inner circle. Their collection of friends. Their people.
I used to think when I became a Mom that I would have this big circle of friends with kids the same age as mine and we would all talk all the time and hang out and our husbands would be friends and we would vacation together. We would all just be these fabulously put together people that you see on Instagram. We would all be raising our kids the same way like some harmonious band of weirdos. I thought somehow all this came with being a parent and this would be my ‘tribe’. I didn’t see the vanity in it. I just saw so many people doing it and doing it like they were living their best lives.
Currently, I have 4 close friends. I am 32 years old – so I feel like I am working with a good number here. Mind you, I only really see 2 of those 4. It’s not that I don’t want to see the other 2, but lack of better planning, state lines, and life kind of get in the way of that. The beauty part of having all of those obstacles is that my ‘tribe’ understands. They are busy moms who are familiar with my struggle of lack of time.
We are all living so differently. Some are married, some with multiple kids, different lifestyles, parenting styles, and beliefs.
These 4 people are all unique ladies whose biggest thing in common is we are all Moms. While being so different, they all possess the qualities of someone I want in my corner. They all listen, they all validate my feelings, they all try to see where I am coming from – and for that, I am grateful.
My ‘tribe’ isn’t one of those tribes you see on Instagram going on girls weekends or weekly bunch dates. My ‘tribe’ are the ones that come to my messy house, or I go to theirs. My ‘tribe’ is the kind of tribe that send each other deals on home goods or cereal. My ‘tribe’ doesn’t go on group dinner dates with our significant others. My ‘tribe’ doesn’t vacation together. My ‘tribe’ listens to each other complain about our jobs or life pains. My ‘tribe’ posts imperfect pictures on the internet. My ‘tribe’ consists of pregnant women and Moms of pre-teens. My ‘tribe’ doesn’t talk about just the good things. My ‘tribe’ is the kind of tribe you can share kids poo stories with.
What I am getting at is my Motherhood ‘tribe’ isn’t what I thought it would be. Now, that I am a Mom – I am grateful it isn’t. I need the realness that is my ‘tribe’. I need the everyday that is my ‘tribe’. It would be fun to have Instagram worthy moments with them all the time but I would much rather have the real, messy buns and sweat pants moments with them.
So, just because the vibe of my tribe isn’t all mimosas and getaways and posed Instagram shots, doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect just the way it is.