momlife, Motherhood, Parenting

You say I’ve changed like it’s a bad thing.

“You’ve changed.”

Why yes I have. I knew having a baby would change my whole life. What I didn’t know was how much it would change me.

Pre-baby me, was spending time trying to get right with the Lord. I laughed at ill witted humor. I enjoyed drinks more often than I should have. I hung out on work nights. My hair and makeup was always done. I always had plans.

Post baby me, is getting right with the Lord. I still laugh at a lot of ill witted humor. I may treat myself to half a drink once a week. I beeline it straight home every night after work. My messy bun is permanent and my makeup is non existent. I try my hardest not to make plans.

So, when I hear I’ve changed, I’m not surprised. I know I have. I’m happy I have. I never thought my whole being would change becoming a Mom, I thought it was just a circumstance change. I never thought this tiny human would have such an impact on me. But here I am, raising a child by the grace of god, striving to be the best person I can be day in and day out.

You see there was an old version of me- honestly there are a few old versions of me. All of those versions would not recognize the me today. They wouldn’t know how to deal with the “new” me. The me that has finally found happiness, the God fearing me, who feels her purpose is to be a wife & mom, who doesn’t carry the weight of the world with her, who cares about things that actually matter. My goals no longer revolve around success at work, success within my home is what I want to achieve.

I think change is key in becoming a Mom. For almost every Mom, change is the first step on the journey through Motherhood. As soon as I saw that positive test, I started changing. Some of those changes during pregnancy I deemed temporary have now stayed permanent. Things I said I would never do, I now do.

The quickness that change has rained over my life in the last few years has shown me how quickly things and circumstances become your past and new things become your present, your normal. I’ve seen that you can’t bring everything with you on your journey, I’ve realized I don’t want to do that either. I’ve began to “pack light” these days – meaning I don’t hoard my past and carry it around with me, I don’t worry too much about what others think, I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t pertain to me. I’ve found that doing this has lightened my mental load and made it easier for me to focus more clearly on things that really matter.

So yes, yes I have changed. As the years press on, I’m sure I will continue to change. I know the “new” Mom version of me will continue to find happiness in the walls of her home, I hope she keeps an open mind when it comes to parenting – because her gut has beat out every parenting book thus far. I hope she continues to find herself and new interests. Most importantly, I hope she accepts all the seasons of change.

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